Understanding Anger Management

What is Anger?

It might seem simplistic, but it is important to understand what exactly anger is, before seeking ways in which a patient with anger issues can be treated. Anger is a natural emotion, no more good or evil than any other emotion. To learn to manage anger, a patient must first accept that the emotion is natural and acceptable.

There are many situations to which anger is a natural and appropriate response. For example, righteous anger is natural and appropriate when someone has been treated unfairly. This anger empowers a person, making it possible to confront the unfair situation and turn things right.

Unfortunately, not all anger is appropriate or well placed. Sometimes people do not know how to recognize other emotions in their lives such as fear. In order to cope with that emotion these people use anger. Other times a person is rightfully angry over one situation, but displaces that emotion by turning the anger onto another situation which does not warrant it.

When anger is not properly expressed or diffused small frustrations can build up. After a while these pent up emotions can explode, producing an angry outburst that is far beyond that which would be appropriate for a given situation.

When Anger Goes Wrong

In today’s culture it is not uncommon for anger to take over an individual and produce a response that is unacceptable. With the stress of day-to-day life and the lack of suitable outlets for pent-up emotions, it is no wonder that people become subject to those emotions, erupting with inappropriate outbursts.

Anger that has been given free rein can present in many ways. A person can become violent, acting out by verbally abusing those nearby, or even getting into physical altercations. Road rage is currently on the rise, as is violent reactivity to peer pressure and bullying. Without knowing of safe and sensible ways to manage anger, many people feel the only outlet is to take that anger out on others.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, anger can be turned inward, resulting in depression.
Denying that anger is a normal emotion, and not having ways to deal with it, people may fear its apparent power and feel overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy or helplessness. For various reasons the repressed anger is turned against oneself, and inevitably results in depression. In severe cases the anger becomes so serious that the person seeks physical ways to relieve and control the emotion, turning to the pain of self mutilation, or even suicide.

Managing Anger

Anger management can be learned. Unfortunately young children tend to learn poor anger management skills from a combination of observation and experience in their families. This can lead to a self-preserving cycle of violence or depression.

Often patients only come to realize that they have an anger management problem as adults. Sometimes it takes intervention from friends or family, or even the law, before a person can admit this.

There are many theories as to the best way to manage anger. Some believe that anger must be controlled or subdued at all times. Unfortunately, this is self-defeating in that unexpressed anger tends to build up, leading to outbursts or depression. Others believe that it is better to “let it all hang out”, expressing anger freely, without restraint. This is equally unhealthy. Not only does it encourage angry outbursts in situations where it is not warranted, but it also encourages an angry world view, where anger is a suitable response for anything and everything that may happen.

Anger management training teaches patients to find ways to cope with their anger without hurting themselves, or those around them. There are many ways of coping, some of which will work for a given patient, while others will not.

Anger can be applied to situations in healthy ways. This could be by using the anger to solve a problem, or opening a line of communication. It can also be diffused through humor, or relaxing. Sometimes a patient can help ease anger by changing the world around them, so that life is less stressful, or by adjusting the way that he or she thinks.

The American Psychological Association offers a range of strategies to help learn to manage anger. Another helpful resource to consider is @ Health, where several articles discuss anger and anger management, and how counselors can help their clients overcome this emotion. www.StressGroup.com discusses not only anger, but general stress management and anger prevention through lifestyle change.

Another method of treatment is neurofeedback, one of the services described on this website and offered by Dr. Rothman.

With guidance and an acceptance of anger as a natural and acceptable emotion, patients can learn to manage their anger in a healthy and productive way. Early intervention with young children can break the cycle of poor anger management, and give those children the chance to develop healthy coping skills for later in life. Anger should not control a person, instead it should be accepted and utilized to make changes and improve the overall quality of that person’s life.